Don’t Trust Your Dog with a Full Bladder 🐶😜
It was supposed to be a quick trip. Just a 15-minute drive to grab coffee and come right back. I looked at my Golden Retriever, Toby, lying on the rug, tail wagging slowly like he was half-asleep.
“You’ll be fine, right?” I asked.
He blinked at me.
I had taken him out earlier, or so I thought. Apparently, a quick jog around the yard wasn’t enough for the gallon of water he’d guzzled that morning. But he looked relaxed, so I gave him a pat on the head and headed out, leaving him to lounge peacefully inside the house.
Big mistake.
I returned about 20 minutes later and was greeted with an eerie silence. No barking, no tail thumping against the door. Just… quiet. I opened the door slowly, calling out, “Toby?”
Then I smelled it.
You know that moment when your soul briefly leaves your body? That was me, standing in the doorway, staring at the absolute chaos Toby had unleashed in my absence.
There, right in the middle of the living room, was a puddle—no, a lake. Toby had clearly been holding it in longer than I realized, and when nature called, he answered. With enthusiasm.
And he didn’t stop there.
To make matters worse, Toby had apparently decided that one puddle wasn’t dramatic enough. He’d also tried to “hide the evidence” by dragging one of my throw pillows through the mess. The result? A pee-soaked pillow trail leading from the living room to the hallway like some twisted version of Hansel and Gretel.
I finally found him in the corner, sitting like a guilty potato with his ears back, giving me the saddest, most “I messed up but please still love me” eyes imaginable.
“Toby,” I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Why?”
He slowly walked over and nudged me with his wet nose, probably thinking, This is your fault. You left me. You knew I had three bowls of water.
Cleaning up that mess was an Olympic-level challenge. Towels, mops, disinfectant—then a bath for Toby, who somehow managed to get it on his paws, his tail, and even his ear. Don’t ask me how.
Lesson learned: never trust your dog with a full bladder. Doesn’t matter how calm they look or how recently they went out. If they’ve had water, you’re playing a dangerous game leaving them home alone without a proper bathroom break.
Toby’s forgiven. Of course he is. He’s back to napping on the couch, clean and happy, like nothing ever happened.
But me? I’m scarred. And the next time I leave the house, I’ll make sure he’s fully “emptied” out.
Because the puddle of doom? Never again.
