How Dads Pet Dogs…
There’s just something hilariously specific about the way dads pet dogs. It’s never gentle. It’s never graceful. And it’s almost always accompanied by a classic line like, “Who’s a good boy, huh?”—as if the dog didn’t already know he’s the best boy in the world.
First of all, let’s talk about the technique. Dads don’t just pet dogs—they slap them with affection. You can hear the thump-thump-thump of dad-style pats from across the house. It’s a heavy-handed, shoulder-slapping, almost-buddy-style gesture. You’d think he was congratulating the dog on closing a business deal instead of just sitting there chewing on a toy.
Then there’s the head rub. Oh yes. Dads love ruffling the top of the dog’s head like they’re tousling a kid’s hair after a baseball game. The poor pup is left blinking, half-dazed, fur sticking up in all directions. And yet, they love it. That big, clumsy affection somehow translates perfectly. It’s like the dog understands: “This is how my human loves me.”
Dads also somehow combine petting with life advice. While scratching the dog’s ears or patting his side, they’ll say things like, “Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not smart,” or “You’re the only one around here who listens to me.” The dog, completely unaware of the pep talk, just pants happily and soaks in the attention. It’s therapy—for both of them.
Another classic dad move is the sneak-a-snack pet. Dads will give the dog a piece of chicken under the table with one hand and pet them with the other like it’s a secret deal. “Don’t tell your mom,” he’ll whisper, and the dog wags his tail like he just joined an elite spy organization. It’s the ultimate boys’ club—man and dog versus the world (or just the diet rules).
Also, dads are low-key dog whisperers when no one’s watching. They’ll claim they’re not “dog people” or act like the dog is a little too clingy, but then you’ll catch them in the garage having full conversations with the dog while working on a project. “You see, buddy, this is a 3/8 socket wrench,” he explains while the dog tilts his head, pretending to care.
Let’s not forget the couch rule—dads say the dog isn’t allowed on the couch… unless it’s just the two of them watching football. Suddenly, the dog is draped across his lap like royalty, munching popcorn from a shared bowl.
In the end, how dads pet dogs may be loud, rough, or a little unconventional—but it’s always full of heart. It’s their own unique brand of love: strong, loyal, and endlessly dependable.
And the dog? He wouldn’t want it any other way.
