I Made a BIG Mistake and Won’t Be Late for Breakfast Again!
Let me set the scene: it was a lazy Saturday morning. I’d stayed up way too late watching dog videos on social media (ironically), and I figured I could sleep in a little longer. My Golden Retriever, Waffles—yes, that’s his real name—had other plans.
Waffles is a creature of habit. Every morning at 7:00 a.m. sharp, he expects breakfast. Not 7:05. Not 7:10. Seven. O’clock. On. The. Dot. And for over a year, I’ve honored that sacred mealtime like clockwork. But not this time.
I rolled over in bed, bleary-eyed, glanced at my phone, and saw the time: 7:18 a.m. “He’ll be fine,” I mumbled. “He can wait another fifteen minutes.”
Big mistake.
At 7:19, I heard it—the unmistakable thud of paws hitting the floor. Then came the dramatic sigh. Then the pacing. Waffles walked from the bedroom to the kitchen and back again, his nails tapping out an impatient beat on the hardwood floor like a furry metronome of guilt.
At 7:22, the protest began.
First, he nudged the side of the bed. Then he whined. Then came the ultimate act of rebellion: he jumped onto the bed (something he knows he’s not supposed to do) and plopped himself directly on top of me. All 75 pounds of “feed me now” fury.
I groaned. “Okay, okay! I’m up!”
But Waffles wasn’t done making his point.
As I stood up, groggy and still half-asleep, he raced into the kitchen—and knocked over his empty food bowl. Not once. Three times. The sound echoed through the house like a warning bell.
Then, for the grand finale, he dragged his bag of kibble (how he got the pantry open, I’ll never know) halfway across the kitchen floor and sat next to it, staring at me with a judgmental expression only a hungry dog can pull off.
I fed him, of course. He inhaled his food in under 30 seconds, then sat back with a satisfied sigh like a king after a royal feast. The message had been received loud and clear.
And me? I’ve learned my lesson.
Sleeping in might feel nice, but not when your dog has a built-in breakfast alarm and a flair for dramatic protest. From now on, I’ll be setting two alarms: one for me, and one for Waffles. Maybe even three, just to be safe.
Because trust me—when you mess with a Golden Retriever’s breakfast schedule, there are consequences. And I, for one, don’t want to wake up with a hungry dog sitting on my chest ever again.
Lesson learned. I won’t be late for breakfast again!
