My dog NEVER pays!

My Dog NEVER Pays!

My dog, Max, is the sweetest golden retriever you’ll ever meet—but let me tell you something: he is a freeloader. A mooch. A total sponge. That’s right—my dog NEVER pays for anything. Not a single treat. Not a single toy. Not even rent!

Let’s start with food. Max eats the best gourmet kibble money can buy. He has a whole drawer full of snacks: peanut butter biscuits, chicken jerky, freeze-dried liver bites—you name it. And how does he contribute? He stares at me with those big puppy-dog eyes while I swipe my card. Every time we go to the pet store, it’s the same thing. He gets excited, picks out the biggest toy, drops it in the cart, and struts around like he’s the one footing the bill.

Then there are the vet bills. Oh, don’t even get me started. Last month, Max decided to eat an entire sock. One emergency visit, an x-ray, and a “special” diet later, my wallet was $300 lighter. Max? Not a care in the world. He came home wagging his tail like he just won the lottery. No apology. No offer to mow the lawn or wash the dishes. Just a nap and some snoring.

And the grooming? Oh, the grooming. Max has a standing appointment at the fancy dog spa down the street. Shampoo, conditioner, paw balm, blueberry facial—the whole nine yards. He walks out of there looking like a show dog, flipping his hair like a shampoo commercial. And yet, every time the groomer hands me the bill, guess who conveniently “forgot their wallet”?

Even around the house, Max contributes nothing. He doesn’t do chores. He doesn’t clean up his toys. He doesn’t even bark when the mail comes anymore. But he does take up the entire couch and expects belly rubs on demand.

But here’s the truth: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sure, Max never pays. But he gives me unconditional love, laughter, and loyalty. He’s my therapist, my roommate, my best friend—and okay, my spoiled little prince.

So yes, my dog never pays… but in his own goofy, tail-wagging way, he gives me more than money ever could.