If Dogs Could Text… 📱🐾😂
Let’s just say, if dogs could text… my phone would never stop buzzing.
Between Teddy and Roo, my two Golden Retrievers, I’m convinced my daily life would turn into a nonstop stream of doggy drama, snack demands, and questionable emojis.
7:02 AM – Teddy:
“Human. Wake up. I can hear the neighbor’s toaster. It’s breakfast time. 🍳👃”
7:05 AM – Roo:
“WAKE. UP. Or I eat the sock. No bluff. 🧦🔥”
Honestly, I wouldn’t even need an alarm clock.
As soon as I leave for work:
8:15 AM – Teddy:
“The couch misses you. I miss the couch when you’re not on it. 🛋️😢”
8:17 AM – Roo:
“There’s a bird on the fence. DO SOMETHING. 🚨🦜”
8:20 AM – Teddy:
“Roo tried to eat a candle again. Pretty sure she thinks it’s cheese. 🕯️🧀”
By mid-morning, the chaos would escalate.
10:03 AM – Roo:
“I threw up. Then Teddy sniffed it. Then I sniffed it. We both regret nothing. 💩💛”
10:15 AM – Teddy (photo attached):
“Art. We call it ‘chewed slipper still life.’ 🎨👟”
Lunch time?
12:00 PM – Roo:
“Reminder: you forgot to give me a second breakfast. Again. Starving. Might pass out. 🍗🥺”
And let’s not forget evening drama:
5:45 PM – Teddy:
“We heard something outside. Probably a bear. Or a squirrel. Or a squirrel riding a bear. 🐿️🐻”
5:47 PM – Roo:
“We defended the yard. You’re welcome. Now pay us in cheese. 🧀💪”
If dogs could text, I’d need a second phone just to handle their messages. And honestly? I wouldn’t block them for a second.
Sure, I’d get spammed with nonsense and 34 blurry selfies of their noses—but I’d also get “I missed you” texts and reminders to enjoy the little things.
So yeah—if dogs could text, they’d probably break the internet.
And my heart… in the best way.
